Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Plus we get a gem about Target and Conan O'Brien's musings about banana ratios. Enjoy!
I'd like to congratulate the DoJ on its recent acquisition of balls.
I like my coffee to be like my secret eHarmony account's profile picture: black.
Listen Target, I always try products before I buy them and if that means dry humping the shit out of your body pillows in aisle 9, so be it.
T.I. is out of prison. He can go wherever he like.
"Hey! I don't remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!"--George Lucas's wife re-watching their old wedding vids.
A bag of weed a day ... keeps the...something...I forget how it goes. What was I talking about?
Okay, AT&T: now you know how we feel when something doesn't go through.
My lifetime ratio of bananas purchased to bananas eaten is running about 5 to 1.
So, Dick Cheney has "heaped praise" on Tony Blair. Who's going to endorse him next? Cholera?
Taco Bell's operating hours are 9 A.M to 1 A.M. I understand feeding the drunkards at 1, but who the fuck eats Taco Bell for breakfast?