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Site Content Review: Organization That Sells

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[ Business]

Dear EWRITE,
I’ve been reading this newsletter for some months now and it’s helped me to produce my site at www.cotswoldinternet.com. I’d welcome any feedback and critique on the site especially regarding writing to sell. It’s early days but I’m concerned that my copy doesn’t sell the site benefits well enough.

The Cotswolds is a very beautiful area of England especially popular with American and Japanese tourists. It includes the towns of Oxford and Stratford upon Avon.

Please help. Thank you,
Malcolm Cooper
http://www.cotswoldinternet.com

Malcolm,

Thanks for your e-mail. I’ve been to the cotswolds a number of times, so it was great to see such a helpful site.

As far as feedback on your site. I think the writing is fine, but you could use a little work on the organization of information. I found it confusing to have everything you offer listed in one menu. It’s apples and oranges. Perhaps organize it into two groups: visitor information, services.

You can get more bang out of your front page. You waste a lot of prime space (the first screen) by repeating links (Cotswold forum, sign up for the forum). You can have one link on the home page to forum, and then a sign up when they get there. Also, you may want to reorder the information. I found the Cotswold guide to be the place I’d go first. But it was way down on the page. A site visitor would have to scroll way down to find it. I’d move it to the first screen.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your site. It’s a great resource!

Marilynne,

Thank you very much indeed for your help. I’ve done a lot of work to re-order the information in line with the purpose of the site and I’ve spent a lot of time on improving load speed. I hope you’ll take a look. Thanks again.

Malcolm Cooper
www.cotswoldinternet.com

Malcolm,
This is looking good! I still think you can get more mileage out of the home page and first screen by only having one link per item on the home page (link to forum on the home page and put the sign up on the forum page). That would create space so you’d be able to get more information on the first screen.

Marilynne

Marilynne Rudick and Leslie O’Flahavan are partners in E-WRITE — http://www.ewriteonline.com, a training and consulting company in the Washington, D.C. area that specializes in online writing. Rudick and O’Flahavan are authors of the book Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail: A Writing Workbook for Customer Service Agents.

Marilynne Rudick and Leslie O’Flahavan Answer Online Writing Questions: Click Here For Free Answers

Site Content Review: Organization That Sells
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