Quantcast
 
Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

By Josh Wolford April 22, 2015

In a totally relatable move, a Colorado man took his underperforming computer into an alley behind his house and pumped its guts full of lead. Unfortunately for our hero everyman, that’s not exactly legal. Colorado Springs Police say that 37-year-old …

Florida Boy Enters Home, Steals Pop-Tart, Logs into Facebook, Gets Caught

Apparently, teens couldn’t give less of a damn about Facebook these days. Every week you probably see an article about the troubling decline in Facebook use among teens. It’s Snapchat all the way these days. Facebook is for dad. Wrong. …

Obama Somehow Finds Some Mean Tweets to Read

When we heard that President Obama was stopping by Jimmy Kimmel Live, we wondered if Kimmel would have him participate in his best segment – celebrities reading mean tweets. But then we thought – hey, where will they find any …

Let a Basketball Teach You Why You Should Put Down Your Damn Phone

We’re all glued to our devices at all times. It’s just the way the world works now. Ted Cruz is likely running for President, Miley Cyrus has more Twitter followers than any heads of state, and your teenage daughter is …

Patton Oswalt Makes Compelling Argument for Never Going Outside Ever Again

Patton Oswalt thinks that television is in its “American cinema in the early 70s” phase, and that’s reason enough to stay glued to your TV and never go out in the sun ever again. Oswalt went on a predictably brilliant …

HBO Star Steals Parents’ HBO GO Password Just Like You Do

Mark Duplass, creator and star of the new and well-received HBO series Togetherness is just like you. He also steals borrows someone else’s HBO GO password to watch Game of Thrones. Duplass stopped by Watch What Happens Live and had …

CPAC Asks Twitter for Questions and Things Go Predictably Awry

The Conservative Political Action Conference is in full swing, and conservatives all over the country are looking to see what the conservative political agenda will be for the next year. One of the early items on the agenda must have …

House of Cards Gets a Terrific Sesame Street Parody

Some people say there’s too much pork in this town. I could not agree more. Sesame Street is smarter than your average kids show, and sometimes it likes to let mom and dad in on the fun. Take this excellent …

The Cops Have Your Lost Cocaine, Please Facebook Message Them to Get It Back

If you happened to drop your bag of cocaine inside the Super Dollar on West Virginia Avenue in Crewe, Virginia on Tuesday, then you’re in luck! The cops have it. Just shoot them a message on Facebook and the whole …

Katy Perry, Drake, Lady Gaga Read Mean Tweets

Jimmy Kimmel’s best segment and one of the overall best bits on late night – mean tweets – has returned. This time, it’s the second-ever all-music edition, which features the likes of Josh Groban, Drake, Lady Gaga, Sam Smith, Jessie …

Man Turns Himself in After Facebook Promise to Police

In Canadian news, a Canadian man has gone full Canada and turned himself in to police after assuring them he would on Facebook. CTV News says that Rodney Constantine was wanted on four warrants, including failing to appear in court …

90s Facebook Ad Is Hilarious Parody of Early AOL Ad 90s Facebook Ad Is Hilarious Parody of Early AOL Ad

If Facebook would have come around in the mid-90s, you would’ve been burning through free trial discs like Fruit by the Foot. I know I would’ve. From comedian Brent Weinbach comes this damn-near-perfect parody of those old internet ads – …

Florida Man Has Drugs, in Case You Were Wondering – the Police Sure Were

I’ve never tried to give someone a bag of meth in a Kmart, so I’m no expert on the matter. I have to imagine, however, that if I did decide to make that life decision – I’d wear the most …

Play-Doh in Damage Control Mode Over Toy That Very Much Resembles a Penis

Poor social media managers. One minute you’re thinking up cute ways to create brand-appropriate happy holiday messages and the next minute you’re furiously deleting images of little plastic penises. Play-Doh is in damage control mode on its social media accounts …

BBC Reporter Gets High From Second Hand Smoke

“Burning behind me is eight and half tons of heroin, opium, hashish and other narcotics… huehuehehe” elegantly guffawed BBC Reporter Quentin Sommerville. Like a dumpy Disney character, the journalist then told the cameraman in a slur to record another take, …

Anna Kendrick Is Pretty Sure Letterman’s Cat Toy Is a Sex Toy

Anna Kendrick, no stranger to more risqué humor, tells it like it is. And that includes letting David Letterman know that cat toy is definitely no cat toy. Kendrick recently appeared on the Late Show and took no time in …

South Dakota Yanks ‘Don’t Jerk and Drive’ Campaign South Dakota Yanks ‘Don’t Jerk and Drive’ Campaign

In of course the higher-ups are going to ruin a good thing news, a South Dakota highway safety campaign has been yanked after it went viral last week. As you may have heard, the South Dakota Office of Highway Safety …