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Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

By Josh Wolford April 22, 2015

In a totally relatable move, a Colorado man took his underperforming computer into an alley behind his house and pumped its guts full of lead. Unfortunately for our hero everyman, that’s not exactly legal. Colorado Springs Police say that 37-year-old …

Everyone Must Get a Selfie with This Gold Van Double Parked at a Walmart

In Maricopa, Arizona, there’s a new local celebrity. It’s not a person, but an old, gold van that’s terribly parked in the local Walmart parking lot. For some reason, the golden Oldsmobile Silhouette is the must-selfie location of the year. …

Fox News Defends the Homeland, Copies Bioshock Infinite Logo Fox News Defends the Homeland, Copies Bioshock Infinite Logo

Bioshock Infinite, the third installment of the Bioshock series, was released to nearly universal acclaim in 2013. The game, widely regarded as a return to glory for the series after a bit of a stumble on Bioshock 2, has entered …

Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process. In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night. Surveillance …

Gangs of Chihuahuas Invade Arizona Town, Hunt Kids

Satan. Satan with four legs, aka, tiny chihuahuas are causing chaos in the Phoenix suburb of Maryvale, Arizona. Alongside their mega poop parties, furious lip licking orgies, and chasing school children, the humans over at animal control fear their rapid …

Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought. Taking selfies with equipment he bought. So he stood by a train, which caused him some pain. “My face did the boot it did caught.” Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the …

Ashley Greene: Twilight Star Plays Priscilla Presley Ashley Greene: Twilight Star Plays Priscilla Presley

Ashley Greene of Twilight fame has transformed from vampire status to that of Priscilla Presley in a new indie film. Shangri-La Suite features Ron Livingston as Elvis Presley. Emily Browning and Alyvia Alyn Lind also star in the film. The …

Guy Shares His Own ‘Wanted’ Facebook Post from Police Page, Nabbed in 45 Minutes Guy Shares His Own ‘Wanted’ Facebook Post from Police Page, Nabbed in 45 Minutes
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Parents, if your child is beginning to show even a lick of sense, hold them tight. Not every parent is so lucky. A Pennsylvania man has been arrested after he taunted police by sharing his own ‘Wanted’ post on their …

JPMorgan Scraps Twitter Q&A Over Fiscal Furor JPMorgan Scraps Twitter Q&A Over Fiscal Furor

It was a brief idea that lasted all of nine glorious hours: the vice-chairman of US corporate banking giant JPMorgan, Jimmy Lee, announced he would be taking over the @jpmorgan Twitter feed at 1pm today. By last night, however, major …

The Ultimate Piracy Deterrent: Britney Spears Music?

The Daily Mirror reports that merchant sea captains who sail off the coast of Africa repeatedly deal with pirate attacks and have found solace in the most unlikely of weapons: Britney Spears’ early catalog. The effects of the music are …

Jimmy Kimmel Segment Captures The Heart of Obamacare Discourse
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Whatever your opinion of Obamacare/The Affordable Care Act is, I at least hope you can differentiate between the two enough to know that they are, in fact, the same thing. It seems that the whole different name thing is more …

John McCain: I’ll Reply to Putin’s NYT Op-Ed in Pravda

For the first time in history, one world leader will respond to another world leader via newspaper columns in their respective nations and languages. Vladimir Putin penned a NYT column last week that discussed U.S. foreign policy with regard to …

Adding Street Fighter’s Chun-Li To Fail Compilation Videos Wins Adding Street Fighter’s Chun-Li To Fail Compilation Videos Wins

If ever anything was meant to be collected and presented in a compilation video, it’s people failing on a day-to-day basis. I mean, is it right to laugh at the misfortune of others? No, but who cares, especially when it’s …

Creation Museum Employee Struck by Lightning

In what appears to be a hilariously ironic turn of events, someone who works at the Petersburg Creation Museum was struck by lightning while maintaining one of the zip line courses. The worker was not directly struck, but he was …

Weiner’s Pseudonym Now A Hot-Dog Brand
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Everyone’s favorite scandal-plagued New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner may never live his ordeal down. ABC News has taken notice of a Florida marketing man named Randall Richards who has teamed up with an Illinois hot dog manufacturer called Thrushwood …

Conan Tries To Bribe Harrison Ford For Star Wars Rumors

To put it mildly, the news concerning the new Star Wars: Episode VII movie has been muted. Aside from knowing the behind-the-scenes talent, there’s not much else to go. Sure, the movie blog Latino Review is doing its level best …

Family Guy Chicken Fight Gets Live Action  Reenactment Family Guy Chicken Fight Gets Live Action Reenactment
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This is something that should be filed under “when crowd-funding goes right,” because what we have is fantastic allocation of donated funds. The idea for a live action reenactment of Peter Griffin’s famous fight with the Chicken was posted over …