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Things Tim Howard Could Save, or Why We All Love the Internet

As USA goalkeeper continued to make amazing save after amazing save in Tuesday’s World Cup match against Belgium, people started making jokes on Twitter like Tim Howard could’ve saved my parents’ marriage and Tim Howard just saved me 15% on …

“My Boobs Are More Important Than The Law” – Model

Sophie Dalzell is a 20-year-old topless model from Manchester, England, whom in which skipped a court date where she was charged of drunkenly assaulting two female police officers when flying to Belgium to get breast augmentation surgery back in January. …

Glassholes Agreed to Be on The Daily Show, For Some Reason Glassholes Agreed to Be on The Daily Show, For Some Reason

They couldn’t have thought this was going to be anything but a masterful trolling, right? “Yes it seems, even in this day and age, you can still be treated differently just because of how you look – wearing a $1,500 face …

Dock Collapses After 21 People Crowd On It For Wedding Photo Shoot

Dock collapses are nothing new to those who live near the water. It’s common sense not to have too many people on a dock for it may just give way under the weight. A wedding procession in Minnesota apparently didn’t …

Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets Continues to Amuse

Jimmy Kimmel’s Celebrities Read Mean Tweets is one of the best bits on late night–hands down. We’re all the way up to part seven, which features Julia Roberts, Don Cheadle, Ashton Kutcher, Courteney Cox, Andy Garcia, Mindy Kaling, David Blaine, …

Lance Armstrong Gets Perfect Card in Cards Against Humanity. You Know the One.

On October 2nd, 1996, professional cyclist Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with stage three testicular cancer. On October 3rd, he underwent an orchiectomy to remove his cancerous testicle. Armstrong’s cancer had already spread to other parts of his body, and things …

WhatsApplebee’s Is Your New, Exclusive Chat App for Brewtus Lovers WhatsApplebee’s Is Your New, Exclusive Chat App for Brewtus Lovers

The problem with most social networks is that they aren’t exclusive enough, and they don’t center on specific interests. Same goes for some messaging apps. What if you only want to talk, anonymously, to people that share your love for, …

Apple Is Buying Beats Because It Has an Assload of Money (Says Funny or Die)

The big rumor in the tech world this week is that Apple is in talks to acquire Beats Electronics, makers of the Beats by Dre headphones and recent launcher of a streaming music service. The news came out of left …

Florida Man Facebooks Cop-Adjacent Drug Deal Photos Florida Man Facebooks Cop-Adjacent Drug Deal Photos

Florida Man, the world’s worst superhero, is staying busy, as always. A Port St. Lucie man has been arrested after–well, after doing a lot of dumb things. According to the Martin County Sheriff’s office, 21–year-old Taylor Harrison has been arrested …

Alibaba IPO Gets The NMA Treatment Alibaba IPO Gets The NMA Treatment

Next Media Animation is at it again. The Taiwanese animators have released this video depicting a predictably insane take on the Alibaba IPO. It involves a giant panda, some puppies, and a genie. The company filed for the IPO earlier …

Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process. In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night. Surveillance …

Video: Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos

If the internet had to be summarized in one word, it would be ‘pussy’ – the vulgar slang for a woman’s genitalia and the informal use of the word cat. Yet, the versatility of the internet’ content isn’t limited to …

Dumb and Dumber Gets Unnerving Reworking

Dumb and Dumber, the movie that spawned a billion Big Gulps jokes, holds a special place in the hearts of many. The Farrelly brothers’ 1994 comedy is thought to be one of the funniest films of all time by some, …

Man Named Popadick Fulfills Surname Destiny in Public Park

Until just now, I’d never come across any “Popadicks.” My introduction to the surname comes in the form of a story about one Donald Popadick, who Ottawa Police claim exposed himself in a public park. Yep. A man named Donald …

Watching HBO with Your Parents Is Just Too Awkward Watching HBO with Your Parents Is Just Too Awkward

HBO has just launched a new ad campaign for their on-demand streaming platform, HBO GO, and it’s great. The main takeaway: Hey millennials–you really don’t want to watch HBO programming with your parents, right? Of course not, that’s why there’s …

Rust Cohle Explains Time as a Flat Circle to Little Kids

HBO’s True Detective ended its first season last month and when the credits rolled, it was clear that we had all just watched something singular–an experience that was going to have a profound effect on not only the future of …

Girl Gets Stuck in Storm Drain Trying to Save Blackberry

Not worth it. Not even remotely. A 16-year old Dover, U.K. teen had to be rescued by firefighters after she descended (about half-way) into a storm drain in a misguided attempt to fetch her Blackberry, which had apparently fell out …

Cop Pulls People Over, Hands Out $100 in Positive Prank

If there’s a better way to ruin someone’s day and then turn it 180 degrees in a matter of seconds, I can’t think of it. Imagine being pulled over on your way to work. Let’s be fair, you probably don’t …

Game of Thrones Honest Trailer Is Not Suitable for Sean Bean

If you haven’t watched seasons one through three of HBO’s Game of Thrones, first of all shame on you. Second, don’t watch this honest trailer. Everything that you’d ever want not spoiled is spoiled. Just don’t watch it. If you’re …

SXSW Hipsters Pretend to Know Bands So Obscure They Don’t Even Exist

If you ask the crowd at SXSW about some hot new bands like “DJ Heavy Flow” and “What the Fuck Bruce Jenner,” they’ll probably tell you that they not only know of their music, but are pretty into it too. …

Obama’s ‘Between Two Ferns’ Tactic Leads to Healthcare.gov Traffic Spike Obama’s ‘Between Two Ferns’ Tactic Leads to Healthcare.gov Traffic Spike

Let’s just assume that President Obama had reasons to sit down with Zach Galifianakis on “Between Two Ferns” other than showing the country that he could expertly pull off a fat joke. Of course, Obama’s move to star in one …