Quantcast

funny Articles

Lance Armstrong Gets Perfect Card in Cards Against Humanity. You Know the One.

On October 2nd, 1996, professional cyclist Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with stage three testicular cancer. On October 3rd, he underwent an orchiectomy to remove his cancerous testicle. Armstrong’s cancer had already spread to other parts of his body, and things …

WhatsApplebee’s Is Your New, Exclusive Chat App for Brewtus Lovers WhatsApplebee’s Is Your New, Exclusive Chat App for Brewtus Lovers

The problem with most social networks is that they aren’t exclusive enough, and they don’t center on specific interests. Same goes for some messaging apps. What if you only want to talk, anonymously, to people that share your love for, …

Apple Is Buying Beats Because It Has an Assload of Money (Says Funny or Die)

The big rumor in the tech world this week is that Apple is in talks to acquire Beats Electronics, makers of the Beats by Dre headphones and recent launcher of a streaming music service. The news came out of left …

Florida Man Facebooks Cop-Adjacent Drug Deal Photos Florida Man Facebooks Cop-Adjacent Drug Deal Photos

Florida Man, the world’s worst superhero, is staying busy, as always. A Port St. Lucie man has been arrested after–well, after doing a lot of dumb things. According to the Martin County Sheriff’s office, 21–year-old Taylor Harrison has been arrested …

Alibaba IPO Gets The NMA Treatment Alibaba IPO Gets The NMA Treatment

Next Media Animation is at it again. The Taiwanese animators have released this video depicting a predictably insane take on the Alibaba IPO. It involves a giant panda, some puppies, and a genie. The company filed for the IPO earlier …

Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process. In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night. Surveillance …

Video: Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos

If the internet had to be summarized in one word, it would be ‘pussy’ – the vulgar slang for a woman’s genitalia and the informal use of the word cat. Yet, the versatility of the internet’ content isn’t limited to …

Dumb and Dumber Gets Unnerving Reworking

Dumb and Dumber, the movie that spawned a billion Big Gulps jokes, holds a special place in the hearts of many. The Farrelly brothers’ 1994 comedy is thought to be one of the funniest films of all time by some, …

Man Named Popadick Fulfills Surname Destiny in Public Park

Until just now, I’d never come across any “Popadicks.” My introduction to the surname comes in the form of a story about one Donald Popadick, who Ottawa Police claim exposed himself in a public park. Yep. A man named Donald …

Watching HBO with Your Parents Is Just Too Awkward Watching HBO with Your Parents Is Just Too Awkward

HBO has just launched a new ad campaign for their on-demand streaming platform, HBO GO, and it’s great. The main takeaway: Hey millennials–you really don’t want to watch HBO programming with your parents, right? Of course not, that’s why there’s …

Rust Cohle Explains Time as a Flat Circle to Little Kids

HBO’s True Detective ended its first season last month and when the credits rolled, it was clear that we had all just watched something singular–an experience that was going to have a profound effect on not only the future of …

Girl Gets Stuck in Storm Drain Trying to Save Blackberry

Not worth it. Not even remotely. A 16-year old Dover, U.K. teen had to be rescued by firefighters after she descended (about half-way) into a storm drain in a misguided attempt to fetch her Blackberry, which had apparently fell out …

Cop Pulls People Over, Hands Out $100 in Positive Prank

If there’s a better way to ruin someone’s day and then turn it 180 degrees in a matter of seconds, I can’t think of it. Imagine being pulled over on your way to work. Let’s be fair, you probably don’t …

Game of Thrones Honest Trailer Is Not Suitable for Sean Bean

If you haven’t watched seasons one through three of HBO’s Game of Thrones, first of all shame on you. Second, don’t watch this honest trailer. Everything that you’d ever want not spoiled is spoiled. Just don’t watch it. If you’re …

SXSW Hipsters Pretend to Know Bands So Obscure They Don’t Even Exist

If you ask the crowd at SXSW about some hot new bands like “DJ Heavy Flow” and “What the Fuck Bruce Jenner,” they’ll probably tell you that they not only know of their music, but are pretty into it too. …

Obama’s ‘Between Two Ferns’ Tactic Leads to Healthcare.gov Traffic Spike Obama’s ‘Between Two Ferns’ Tactic Leads to Healthcare.gov Traffic Spike

Let’s just assume that President Obama had reasons to sit down with Zach Galifianakis on “Between Two Ferns” other than showing the country that he could expertly pull off a fat joke. Of course, Obama’s move to star in one …

Comedian Petitions Obama to Formally Label Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni a ‘Ding-Dong-Boob-Poopy’

Comedian Eugene Mirman has pretty solid proposal for how President Obama should handle Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. He should publicly call him a “ding-dong-boob-poopy.” Oh yeah, and then he should spend a little bit of time trying to convince the …

Hashtagging in Real Life Is Only Funny When Jimmy Fallon and Jonah Hill Do It

Last September, I said that Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake’s hashtag conversation was the only one that will ever be funny. I was wrong, and I apologize. Jimmy Fallon has brought the bit back for an encore, and now that …

Tip: Clear Your Phone Browser of Porn Sites <em>Before</em> Using Said Phone in News Segment Tip: Clear Your Phone Browser of Porn Sites Before Using Said Phone in News Segment

That’s just a simple tip, guys. If you’re going to use your iPhone to film stock video for a local news segment, it might be wise to make sure your bookmarks and history list doesn’t read “Pornhub Mobile.” Or, I …

Facebook&#8217;s Look Back Videos, If They Were At All Genuine Facebook’s Look Back Videos, If They Were At All Genuine
· 2

Well this is pretty funny. Like most things on Facebook, those packaged “Look Back” videos that everybody has been sharing in honor of Facebook’s 10th anniversary are annoyingly ubiquitous. Sure, it might be interesting to you to see your most-liked …

RoboCop Gets an Honest Trailer (The Original, Not the Unnecessary Remake)
· 2

The only remake that’s more unnecessary than Spike Lee’s completely pointless box-office-bomb rehash of Oldboy is the upcoming remake of Paul Verhoeven’s violent classic RoboCop. Nothing against the new RoboCop’s director José Padilha, but he’s basically opening up a collector’s …