Facebook Is Surprisingly LOL-Deficient

Facebook has a lot of data it can comb through, if it so pleases. The latest dive into what people are doing looks into how people laugh on the social network. And the biggest shock, at least to me, is…

Obama Joins the Rest of Twitter in Telling the New York Times to GTFO with This Peas in Guac Insanity

At 1:51 pm ET on Wednesday, July 1st, The New York Times suggested to Twitter that they add green peas to their guacamole. The paper of record told us to trust them. Add green peas to your guacamole. Trust us.…

Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

In a totally relatable move, a Colorado man took his underperforming computer into an alley behind his house and pumped its guts full of lead. Unfortunately for our hero everyman, that’s not exactly legal. Colorado Springs Police say that 37-year-old…

Snoop Dogg Pic Lands Texas Trooper in Hot Water

It doesn’t matter who you are – if you see Snoop, you’re going to want to get a picture with Snoop. But beware: if you work for the Texas Department of Public Safety, it could get you in a little…

Burglary Suspect Snapchats That He’s Hiding in a Cabinet, Police Find Him Hiding in a Cabinet

LOL the police are searching my house and I’m hiding in the cabinet don’t tell them haha 😉 That’s probably not the exact message 24-year-old Christopher Wallace sent on Snapchat, but it could’ve been. Wallace has been arrested and charged…

House Candidate Promises He’ll Never Embarrass You with Dick Pics

If you’re sick and tired of your New York congressmen showing off a little too much skin because they’re pretty bad at the internet, Daniel Donovan says he’s your man because he doesn’t even know how to get naked on…

Let a Basketball Teach You Why You Should Put Down Your Damn Phone

We’re all glued to our devices at all times. It’s just the way the world works now. Ted Cruz is likely running for President, Miley Cyrus has more Twitter followers than any heads of state, and your teenage daughter is…

Everyone Must Get a Selfie with This Gold Van Double Parked at a Walmart

In Maricopa, Arizona, there’s a new local celebrity. It’s not a person, but an old, gold van that’s terribly parked in the local Walmart parking lot. For some reason, the golden Oldsmobile Silhouette is the must-selfie location of the year.…

Fox News Defends the Homeland, Copies Bioshock Infinite Logo

Bioshock Infinite, the third installment of the Bioshock series, was released to nearly universal acclaim in 2013. The game, widely regarded as a return to glory for the series after a bit of a stumble on Bioshock 2, has entered…

Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process. In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night. Surveillance…

Gangs of Chihuahuas Invade Arizona Town, Hunt Kids

Satan. Satan with four legs, aka, tiny chihuahuas are causing chaos in the Phoenix suburb of Maryvale, Arizona. Alongside their mega poop parties, furious lip licking orgies, and chasing school children, the humans over at animal control fear their rapid…

Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought. Taking selfies with equipment he bought. So he stood by a train, which caused him some pain. “My face did the boot it did caught.” Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the…

Ashley Greene: Twilight Star Plays Priscilla Presley

Ashley Greene of Twilight fame has transformed from vampire status to that of Priscilla Presley in a new indie film. Shangri-La Suite features Ron Livingston as Elvis Presley. Emily Browning and Alyvia Alyn Lind also star in the film. The…

Guy Shares His Own ‘Wanted’ Facebook Post from Police Page, Nabbed in 45 Minutes

Parents, if your child is beginning to show even a lick of sense, hold them tight. Not every parent is so lucky. A Pennsylvania man has been arrested after he taunted police by sharing his own ‘Wanted’ post on their…

JPMorgan Scraps Twitter Q&A Over Fiscal Furor

It was a brief idea that lasted all of nine glorious hours: the vice-chairman of US corporate banking giant JPMorgan, Jimmy Lee, announced he would be taking over the @jpmorgan Twitter feed at 1pm today. By last night, however, major…

The Ultimate Piracy Deterrent: Britney Spears Music?

The Daily Mirror reports that merchant sea captains who sail off the coast of Africa repeatedly deal with pirate attacks and have found solace in the most unlikely of weapons: Britney Spears’ early catalog. The effects of the music are…

Jimmy Kimmel Segment Captures The Heart of Obamacare Discourse

Whatever your opinion of Obamacare/The Affordable Care Act is, I at least hope you can differentiate between the two enough to know that they are, in fact, the same thing. It seems that the whole different name thing is more…

John McCain: I’ll Reply to Putin’s NYT Op-Ed in Pravda

For the first time in history, one world leader will respond to another world leader via newspaper columns in their respective nations and languages. Vladimir Putin penned a NYT column last week that discussed U.S. foreign policy with regard to…

Adding Street Fighter’s Chun-Li To Fail Compilation Videos Wins

If ever anything was meant to be collected and presented in a compilation video, it’s people failing on a day-to-day basis. I mean, is it right to laugh at the misfortune of others? No, but who cares, especially when it’s…

Creation Museum Employee Struck by Lightning

In what appears to be a hilariously ironic turn of events, someone who works at the Petersburg Creation Museum was struck by lightning while maintaining one of the zip line courses. The worker was not directly struck, but he was…