Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Romney after watching Obama on Jimmy Fallon: “Darn it, I’ve got to get on Johnny Carson.”
BREAKING: Newt Gingrich is suspending his campaign so he can spend more time being the nougaty filling in a Milky Way bar
Karma is a boomerang, but dogma is a grenade.
I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn’t do enough Tim Burton films.
Next year, Apple should just hide the WWDC tickets in Wonka bars.
Fruit for breakfast always seems like a punishment.
Newt Gingrich will end his White House bid and apply for a job with the Secret Service.
John Edwards may have illegally used campaign $ to hide his mistress & love child. In France he could run on that & win.
Haven’t heard someone say “Google Drive” in at least 7 minutes; a clear sign that it’s going nowhere.
Paul Newman is the Tupac of posthumous dressing releases
Is it okay to make subtle linguistic stereotype jokes if you’re a lumberjack? I’m axing for a friend.
Speed Stick is one of a few deodorants that sounds like the name of a washed up rock band from the 70s.