NSFW

In consumer tech nowadays it’s all about one-upping the last guy – making a product that can do more, and do it better and faster. The Onion has a pretty great take on the innovation race – a new device that will blow everything else out of the water.

That device is the Samsung Apex, a wearable computing device that “streams videos into one eye, the internet into the other, and sucks your dick all at the same time.”

“Hang it up Apple – we beat you to the punch on this one. Samsung’s got you by the balls!” screams fictional Samsung spokesman Neal Werner.

New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

What’s funny is that given today’s climate, this doesn’t even seem like that much of a stretch.

[The Onion]