Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, in honor of the holiday, we have lot of tweets about Thanksgiving and Turkeys. There are a couple of other gems thrown in there as well.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Remember, every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer in eggnog.
Please give a round of applause for the people who stopped doing coke this week so they could enjoy dinner with family for Thanksgiving
#TheBestThingAboutThanksgiving: Impressing everyone by cutting the turkey with my lightsaber.
Turkeys are like investigative journalism: sometimes you gotta shove a carrot up that ass.
I’m not using Spotify. There’s no way I’m gonna let people know how many times a day I listen to Faith Evan’s “Love Like This Before.”
“I raised 23 foster turkeys.” ~Michele Bachmann
Spent the night outside a camping supply store waiting for Black Friday. Wish I had a tent and sleeping bag.
“You mean I HAVE TO pardon it AND it’s not mentally retarded?!” – President Rick Perry on Thanksgiving
FYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn’t work.
Who do you think is more worried about tomorrow…..the turkeys or the Dolphins?