The great state of South Dakota, which has had a legal ban on same-sex marriage since 1996 and a constitutional amendment against it since 2006, is about to face its first legal challenge. And before the case hits the court, one state rep is urging the medical community to speak out against the dangers of…

Anal sex?

Yes, Pastor and State Legislator Steve Hickey from Sioux Falls District 9 has posted an impassioned argument on Facebook. He’s also sent it in as a letter to the editor of the Argus Leader, but doesn’t know if they’ll print it. I guess that’s why he also took to his Facebook page.

In a letter titled ‘A One Way Alley for the Garbage Truck,’ (!!!) Hickey argues that anti-gay marriage activists have been going about this all wrong. You see, if only medical and psychological professionals didn’t feel intimidated to the point of silence, then they could speak out about the real reason that man on man marriage is so wrong.

You know, butt sex. Ew. Not only gross, but just as dangerous as that Big Mac you just stuffed in your face.

Here’s the relevant chunk:

Consider this an open letter to the medical and psychological communities in South Dakota. The subject is homosexuality, which is about to be a front-page topic for the next few years in our state. I’m asking the doctors who practice in our state, is the science really settled on this issue or is it more the case that you feel silenced and intimidated?

Certainly there are board-certified doctors in our state who will attest to what seems self-evident to so many: gay sex is not good for the body or mind. Pardon a crude comparison but regarding men with men, we are talking about a one-way alley meant only for the garbage truck to go down. Frankly, I’d question the judgment of doctor who says it’s all fine.

South Dakota docs, it’s time for you to come out of the closet and give your professional opinion on this matter like you capably and responsibly do on all the others. Somehow the message we are presently getting from the medical community is that eating at McDonalds will kill us but the gay lifestyle has no side effects. Truth be told it seems self-evident the list of side effects would read far longer than anything we hear on a Cialis commercial.

If many are indeed wearying of our religious community leading on these morality issues, and believe also those of us in the legislature should butt out too, it’s time for the medical community in our state to be honest with us. If you don’t speak up, this issue will be decided by five unelected judges on the Supreme Court regardless of what states like ours have decided by public vote.

This indeed is a matter of being on the wrong side of history considering that historically, homosexuality has been a notable marker of the downfall of past civilizations, not their rise. It’s not hate for a physician to speak up about something that is harmful to human health. It is not unloving to tell people you don’t have to have sex with and marry someone to love and be loved by them. As one who performs marriages and counsels couples as part of my professional life, marriage is the last thing I’d recommend to someone who simply wants to be loved and legitimized. What do other health care and mental health professionals in our state really think?

It’s clear that Mr. Hickey has given this a lot of thought. A lot of thought.

The rest of Hickey’s open letter (which I urge you to read) talks about transgender kids, suicide rates, and sports. I won’t spoil it for you.

South Dakota, one of only four states with bans on same-sex marriage but no pending lawsuits, will soon have one on the books. According to the AP, a same sex couple plans to marry on Saturday in Minnesota, come back to South Dakota, and sue when the county clerk denies them a name change. Apparently, they would then have legal grounds to challenge both the original ban and the fact that their state would be denying a legally-performed marriage in another state.

For Rep. Hickey’s sake, let’s hope that the doctors speak out before it’s too late. We wouldn’t want a traffic jam on the garbage truck alley.

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