In what can only be described as the apotheosis of living in the most industrialized and pampered era that has ever existed, now there is this: gourmet coffee shop-style beverages that you brew from a control panel on your iOS device. Like so:
Yes. If grinding beans or measuring out coffee grounds or inserting a filter inside of your Mr. Coffee brewer has become far too arduous of a task within your morning routine, you can now invest your coffee enjoyment into a new machine called TopBrewer. Manufactured by Denmark-based company Scanomat, the suped-up coffee brewer can be easily controlled from your iPhone or iPad. All you have to do is put in your order using the app (yes, you must treat this coffee-making machine like it’s your personal barista and “put in an order”). The app gives you a pretty staggering array of control over what kind of drink you want, ranging from what temperature you want your drink to selecting which type of espresso drink you’d like to have.
For a full scope of what the TopBrewer can do, engorge your eyes in the espresso-porn video provided by Scanomat:
The app is alleged to be available already in Apple’s iTunes Store but I couldn’t find it. Luckily, an iOS device isn’t explicitly required since you can still control TopBrewer through the archaic method of pressing buttons on the actual device. Despite my previous ravings above about the TopBrewer, it is a very pretty piece of equipment and actually does you one better by cleaning itself (the world’s first house-broken coffee brewer!). Scanomatic also boasts that the TopBrewer contains “the smallest milk foamer in the world,” which they patented, and can be built to fit into any countertop.
In addition to the sleek, IKEA showroom-ready design and completely silent brewing process, it also claims to filter brew a cup of coffee in ridiculously fast 15 seconds. In a mere 25 seconds, you can have a cup of “perfectly brewed” espresso. I don’t even get out of bed that quickly in the morning, but at least the coffee would be ready for me by the time I peeled myself out of grogginess.
Scanomat’s website doesn’t even list a price for the TopBrewer, which only leads me to assume that the cost of this device would probably be enough to pay off my student loans (and my student loans are steep). Still. This is Future Coffee with brand new Future Taste; like something George Jetson would have designed except for the fact that TopBrewer actually functions correctly. So supposing that the money you’d put into this device wasn’t also enough to offset the national debt, would you ever consider getting one of these machines? Please comment below if you would (or why you wouldn’t). I’m really curious what people think about this.