National Donut Day, Mayor Bloomberg, and FDR

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
National Donut Day, Mayor Bloomberg, and FDR
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Happy National Doughnut Day, Jabba’s favorite day of the year.
    5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    I think if you’ve been to the beach you know that every day is national donut day in America.
    7 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
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    So who’s this “Miss Trial” that John Edwards is banging?
    21 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    F.D.R. would have had a SHIT-TON of ‘NO FEAR’ t-shirts.
    23 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    Just think how much worse the Hatfield McCoy feud would have been if they had texting. Or face eating.
    2 days ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
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    As he exited the interview, Mayor Bloomberg slapped a large Mountain Dew out of the hand of a husky child. “It starts now,” he whispered.
    1 day ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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    Mayor McCheese should run against Bloomberg
    1 hour ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto
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    If Thor smashes Bella Swan with his hammer then count me in for Snow White & the Huntsman.
    8 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    I think what DC Comics meant to announce is that The Green Lantern is gayER than the other super heroes wearing tights and a cape.
    3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    Naming your daughter “Star” is the easiest way to insure that she won’t be one.
    14 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    Microsoft’s new tagline: “Bing is the #1 search engine among people who always accept the default.” #newBing
    57 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    Just saw a confused guy in the street, angrily shouting “Where is the best sushi!?!” at a metal object in his hand.
    24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    I find it difficult to watch porn in the same way a real prosecutor can’t watch Law & Order.
    44 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    Kathie Lee Gifford just asked John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted how his son Adam is doing.
    1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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