Ever feel like you’ve got tiny insects crawling all over you and biting your skin? Do you get oozing skin lesions as a result, or ever see blue, black, or red granules beneath or extruding from your skin? What about even vaguer terms, like short-term memory loss or depression and feelings of isolation?

If you experience one or more of these, you may have Morgellons disease. And, officially, at this point in this article, every reader has officially self-diagnosed themselves with Morgellons disease.

Except… there’s one catch: you don’t have tiny bugs infesting your skin. In fact, if you feel any of those symptoms, it’s all in your head.

Granted, the sores and depression and fatigue probably do have real causes – it’s just not from Morgellons disease. At least that’s what scientists suspect.

The Internet, as it is wont to do, has been crawling with searches about the disease (two of the top ten search trends this afternoon have been about the disease) given the terrifying premise that such a malady may be psychologically self-generated. Over at the Twitterscape, people opined and panicked and prognosticated about the news of this phantom menace:

Morgellons disease is the perfect ailment to strike fear into the heart of Internet users. Good luck out there.