Lee Boyd Malvo, one of the men who terrorized the D.C. area ten years ago with random shootings, says he has a history of sexual abuse, starting when he was five years old and ending with his accomplice, John Allen Muhammad.

Malvo says he is heartily sorry for his actions against the shooting victims, but at the time he was unable to say no to Muhammad out of fear. Muhammad was executed by way of lethal injection in 2009 for his role in the crimes; Malvo is currently serving a life sentence in Virginia. The pair wound their way around the country, creating a path of sniper attacks on random people in 27 different shootings, 10 of which were in the D.C. area.

In an interview with Matt Lauer, Malvo admitted to a sexual relationship with Muhammad, but said it was not consensual. He said it was not the first time he’d been abused, claiming that a babysitter molested him at age five and a family member did so when he was a little older.

“For the entire period when I was almost 15 until I got arrested, I was sexually abused by John Muhammad,” Malvo said.

It’s been said that Malvo had a childhood history of anti-social behavior and often tortured and abused small animals, something criminal psychologists consider a sure warning sign of both physical or sexual abuse and future criminal acts. Malvo says now he can see his mistakes and has written letters to some of the surviving victims, reaching out to the families of the slain in order to apologize.

“Please do not allow my actions and the actions of Muhammad to hold you hostage,” he said.