It’s a tale as old as virgin brides: if a woman in Hollywood is seen within a ten foot radius of a white garment, the people over at Page Six will scream WEDDING.

This lovely tradition in American gossip-rag culture was recently experienced by Orange Is The New Black star Laura Prepon when she was spotted at a run-of-the-mill custom couture dress fitting at Bergdorf Goodman, after which she was inundated with rumors of her impending nuptials.

Except that Prepon isn’t engaged. And it’s a ridiculous leap from “tries on white dress” to “is definitely getting married” that I would only expect from the lovely people who keep us informed about what OITNB cast members do on their day off. Which, according to Prepon, is try on clothes for fancy-shmancy parties that have dress codes on the invitation instead of a suggestion to BYOB.

Laura Prepon dishes on Orange is the New Black: http://t.co/xOhNhIcHBM #OITNB pic.twitter.com/bG1xcRvfyB

— StyleList (@StyleList) July 13, 2014

Specifically, Prepon is prepping for Bella Magazine’s upcoming All-White Party in the Hamptons (this party DOES sound really white), which she is hosting.

And while Prepon is dutifully fulfilling Hollywood expectations to dress herself in ridiculously overpriced couture (the dress in question is an Isabelle Armstrong gown), don’t expect her to force her body to comply to their standards as well.

RT @LikeAVause: PIC: An inside peek at @LauraPrepon in @BellaNYCMag available for pre-order now #stunning pic.twitter.com/4kyRP8v3TI

— Bella NYC Magazine (@BellaNYCMag) June 19, 2014

“All the women on the show are different shapes, sizes, colors and creed – everything! You really embrace who you are, your curves and everything,” said Prepon to Women’s Running magazine about her body image philosophy. “So if anything on this show, it’s the most comfortable I’ve ever been because all of us just really embrace who we are. It’s wonderful.”

Our new issue is out today with cover model @LauraPrepon from @OITNB! And it features our brand new redesign! pic.twitter.com/zCy0uSaWFS

— Women's Running (@WomensRunning) June 17, 2014

It IS wonderful, Laura Prepon. And may I say I am incredibly glad your cool-ass self isn’t marrying Tom Cruise. Now THAT was a terrifying rumor.

Image via YouTube