Lana Del Rey feels some type of way about her career and uncharted success.

Although her first album, Born to Die, garnered impressive sales, with more than seven million copies sold, she still has a disillusioned perspective of life. However, given her recent experience, her embattlement may have merit.

On October 27, 2013, the “Video Games” singer was scheduled to meet with legendary singer-songwriter to collaborate on a feature for her latest single, “Brooklyn Baby.” Unfortunately, Reed didn’t make it to the meeting, because he passed away that day.

During an interview with the Guardian, the 27-year-0ld pop singer briefly recounted the shocking events of that day back in October. “I took the red eye, touched down at 7am … and two minutes later he died,” she said.

The mention of Reed’s death led to the discussion of Del Rey’s “27 Club” idols like Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin and Kurt Cobain. The singer also shared her shocking sentiments of death, revealing that she wished she were dead as well. “I wish I was dead already,” she said.

Despite her monumental success, the Ultraviolence singer is still a target for constant ridicule. She even expressed that she’s tired of the negative drawbacks that come with being famous.

In a nutshell, the New York native insinuated that her career is merely a job that pays the bills. “I don’t want to have to keep doing this,” she said of her music career. “But I am.”

She went on to give a detailed comparison to the life she actually lives as opposed to the façade she depicts in her songs. She revealed that its definitely not as glamorous as her lyrics proclaim it to be. “Family members will come on the road with me and say: ‘Wow, your life is just like a movie!’” the singer said. “And I’m like: ‘Yeah, a really f—ed-up movie.’”

Del Rey’s latest studio album Ultraviolence was released Tuesday, June 13.

Image via Lana Del Rey, Facebook