Last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians was very emotional for Khloe Kardashian, who admitted that she knew that her husband Lamar Odom was cheating on her while they were still married.

“The way I was living is not a way to live! I kept in hiding every time there was something going on. I would have to lie, or conceal, or cover up, and I’m so over it!” Khloe explained.

While the cheating rumors were running rampant all last year, this marks the first time that Khloe has openly talked about them.

“Let me tell you something. Last year on my birthday I lied to everyone because I had to lie and say I was with my husband when in fact my husband was missing with another girl!” she told her sister Kourtney Kardashian.

Hard for me to watch this one #KUWTK

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) July 14, 2014

Khloe also revealed that Lamar has been wearing his wedding ring and is telling the press that they are not getting a divorce and are planning on working things out. However, Khloe says this is not the case, and he is just lying for the publicity. “Lamar is now doing press because he’s on a new team, and he’s giving these interviews and answering questions about him and I, but they’re just not true — saying that he talks to me every day or that we’re working things out,” she explained.

“I feel like people are almost questioning, like, have I done enough? But I can’t reach him for months on end,” she added. “I would just rather him not say anything because it almost, like, gets my hopes up and then nothing ever changes.”

Sunday’s episode also showed Khloe trying to mask her emotions with alcohol, causing her family to become concerned about her well-being. “Both Khloe and I have had a tough year and a lot of problems,” Khloe’s brother-in-law Scott Disick said. “And, you know, watching Khloe kinda take her mind off the negatives with alcohol and partying and all these things definitely scares me because I’ve been there before. If I’m seeing it, that must be a lot.”

Do you think Khloe is spiraling out of control? Leave your comments below.

Image via Twitter