Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
If Penn State replaces the Paterno statue with a Robocop one, they should be free of all sanctions.
You can drink in the morning on an airplane without judgment and also at the Daytona 500.
These next four years are your time to shine, Penn State Women's Fencing team.
Your new American Idol judges: Mariah Carey, Sasquatch from the Jack Links commercials and the Sham-Wow guy.
"Ready, Willing, and Mabel" would be a good slogan for somebody named Mabel.
"I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion." -- Web comment that has never been made
If you're a fat guy and you aren't good at makin' barbecue, prioritize that shit.
I'm trying to ignore this whole Joe Paterno statue controversy and just look the other way. I call this approach the "Joe Paterno"
SPORTS: Brett Favre takes job as assistant coach at Mississippi high school. All girls advised to block picture messaging on cell phones
i would never play kristen stewart in poker
Are people really surprised that Katy Perry outsold The Beatles? I mean, Ringo hardly ever glued anything to his tits!
Staring at blood-soaked hands and muttering "Oh my God...what have I done for this Klondike bar?"