Adam Sandler has never been a critical darling, at least for movies that come from his Happy Madison company. That being said, Sandler’s movies normally perform much better than expected pretty well, even if they are getting bombed by reviewers. Will the same formula work for Sandler’s newest endeavor, the highly-anticipated Grown Ups 2, or will it get crushed by the massive mechs and sea monsters in the form of Pacific Rim? Because the first ingredient, the bad reviews, are starting to pop up.

The one that’s getting the most traction comes from the Variety, which begins it’s reflection with the following lede, “Among the slackest, laziest, least movie-like movies released by a major studio in the last decade.”

As you can imagine, it’s all downhill from there. Some highlights:

– “Grown Ups 2” is perhaps the closest Hollywood has yet come to making “Ow! My Balls!” seem like a plausible future project. It is all but guaranteed a strong opening weekend..

– while “Grown Ups 2” made some often cringeworthy attempts to shoehorn maudlin life lessons and character arcs into all the crotch smashing, this sequel barely attempts to function as a piece of narrative filmmaking at all, almost immediately devolving into a hash of frantic, random incidents strung together with the slimmest sliver of coherence.

– …it features plentiful flatulence, and James Joyce might well have appreciated the neologism “burpsnart,” which describes Kevin James’ character’s ability to burp, sneeze and fart simultaneously.

– In one scene, the central foursome come across a giant tire, and with no attempt at explanation or reasonable comedic setup, Spade is simply thrust inside and sent rolling through town, because that’s what grown men do when they find a giant tire.

– While the film is hardly distinguished by any of its craft elements, it’s never nearly as ugly as it is stupid.

All of the above quotes are, of course, worthy of appearing on a movie poster. In fact, if Sandler wanted to demonstrate a true element of wit, he would include these accolades in the Blu-Ray’s liner notes. Anyway, the folks who are responsible for the Rotten Tomatoes Twitter feed were eager to get in on the action as well:

Grown Ups 2 is #Rotten at 0% with 6 reviews so far: http://t.co/Zrq0BZfjFA

— Rotten Tomatoes (@RottenTomatoes) July 11, 2013

So? Does the immediate negative feedback pretty much ensure Grown Ups 2 is going to have a huge opening weekend or will it get smashed by Del Toro’s Pacific Rim and all the massiveness contained within? Judging by these Twitter gems, it looks like Sandler’s latest will also be critic-proof:

"The unfunny and unengaging Grown Ups 2 aims for the lowest possible comedy targets and fails to hit even those" means I will like it

— Leo (@headlesseyes) July 12, 2013

Who wants to see grown ups 2 tomorrow before 3?

— Mark Chaisson ™ (@thatkidMark) July 12, 2013

Im trying to go watch grown UPS 2 tomorrow

— FRANKIE ARCOS (@FRANKIE_ARCOS) July 12, 2013