Goat Man is Apparently Just a Hunter with Questionable Fashion Sense

Goat Man quickly gained some Internet fame over the past 48 hours, sending imaginations into overdrive as a result. His rise to international fame began when photographer Coty Creighton spotted the guy during a hike through the Utah mountains. He described his encounter as “creepy”, particularly since they were the only two human beings for miles around. If I saw a guy dressed as a goat wandering through the wilderness, I’d probably be a little unsettled, too.

The myths that sprung up around the Goat Man story are ultimately more satisfying that the truth, which is almost always the case. The official explanation is thus: Goat Man is nothing more than a hunter trying out his goat-oriented camouflage to test its effectiveness in the field. According to officials, the man, whose name was not given, is preparing to hunt mountain goats in the near future, an event which apparently calls for a crudely-fashioned goat outfit. Why he continued to act like a goat once he was separated from the rest of the herd is beyond me. Truthfully, the whole explanation smells like a crock of monkey snot.

A hunter wearing a painter’s outfit with a little fleece on the side is just too easy. Besides, it doesn’t account for the man’s peculiar behavior. I’m generally not one for rampant speculation, but here’s my theory: Goat Man got busted by a photographer for acting like a goat, which he attempted to explain away with this whole hunter rigamarole. I refuse to believe that a man who would dress up and act like an animal to such an extreme degree would turn around and shoot one with a bow and arrow. Maybe I’m just naive.

As someone pointed out on Twitter, it’s much more fun to believe in Goat Man than to face the fact that he’s probably nothing more than a hunter studying his prey. Although I never believed this individual to be some sort of cryptozoological wonder, I rather enjoyed picturing some kind-hearted soul prancing through the woods with the only creatures on the planet who truly understood him. A wise man once said, “Reality hits you hard, bro.”

Guess what? I’m not the only person who is disappointed by the truth behind Goat Man’s origins. Below you can sample some Twitter reactions to the news. Like me, people seem to be taking this pretty hard. In my mind, Goat Man lives on, crawling through life on his hands and knees while wearing a shoddy costume. That, for some strange reason, makes me happy.