Scandals are great for ratings.

It had looked like the “mispeak” by Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson would do wonders for the show.

After A&E threatened to remove the beloved patriarch, thousands rallied and the network changed its mind. What also may have helped reverse A&E’s decision may have been all the merchandise flying off shelves and the promise of a larger viewing audience thanks to all the publicity brought on by the controversy.

But nothing lasts forever.

The show’s ratings are down from last season among audiences, particularly in the highly coveted 18-49 age range.

While the ratings loss is not yet enough to order a coffin to put the series in, it does suggest the series has lost whatever steam was gifted to it by previous water cooler conversation. There’s always something new to gossip about or be angry about and nobody cares about Duck Dynasty anymore.

When nobody cares about a show on the decline, that’s a sign that something drastic may need to be done in order to turn things around.

But what can the Robertson clan do to get tongues wagging again?

They’ve already got the homophobia and racism boxes checked. Perhaps a scandal involving a long lost child from a secret affair should show up on the show. Let’s say a gay black son named Ambroise who votes Democrat, hates meat because he’s a vegan, and resents prayers at the dinner table because he’s an atheist.

Scandalous.

Or they can up the ante by revealing themselves to be clean-shaven ultra-rich yuppies who once upon a time looked like Abercrombie and Fitch models and only donned the camouflage print and the unsightly facial hair when, in the tradition of Vince McMahon’s WWE, it became profitable to design an image to cater to America’s “salt of the Earth”. That is, those people who think wrestling story lines are real and believe every word of everything ever said on television.

Whichever route the Robertson’s take, something major will have to happen. A television audience rarely sticks around to be bored by a show for very long.

Duck Dynasty faces a it's own reality as ratings plummet ! #uniteblue #LibCrib #stoprush http://t.co/LyLjCuzhsd

— KAT (@kommonKat) February 21, 2014

One could say Duck Dynasty ratings have… *puts sunglasses on* …flown south for the winter. *YEAAAAAAAHHHHH*

— Oriana Schwindt (@Schwindter) February 20, 2014

Image via YouTube