Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have plenty of tweets talking about Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump, we see what Jan Brady would be like as a realtor, and we also learn the unsettling truth about the night janitor at a wax museum.
Enjoy!
@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonI heard Newt Gingrich bought beautiful Tiffany cuff links for all the GOP nominees.
2 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto
@mryanwilkes
Matthew Wilkes@ClayTravisBGID Vince Young tried to throw a temper tantrum after tonight game….but it was intercepted. 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto
@JordyHamrick
JordanKenyans run fast because all of the other countries are trying to tickle them. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@MarylandMudflap
Scotty L.I wonder how many times a year the night janitor at Madame Tussaud’s kisses the wax Angelina Jolie on the lips. Probably a lot. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKBET SANTA FREAK OUT WHEN HE GET NEW LIST FROM THAT CRAIG KID! 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DobbyWrnsHryPtr
DirtyHippyNickelback is so talented. 45 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeThe guy in front of me at the ATM is doing multiple transactions #FirstWorldProblems 1 hour ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonMy greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud. 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@JimGaffigan
Jim GaffiganI wish it was gain weight “for” the holidays instead of “during” the holidays. 16 minutes ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
@meganamram
Megan Amram“Location, Location, Location” – Jan Brady, Realtor 51 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@hipstermermaid
braden graeberClicking the ‘Report Spam’ button was the closest I got to a feeling of accomplishment today. 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian Dear Santa: Lumps of coal are environmentally unfriendly. May I suggest a “Previously Viewed” Last Airbender DVD from Blockbuster instead? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@FreedomReeves
FreedomDonald Trump is moderating the next GOP debate? I’m starting to think that these debates are planned by SNL writers. 31 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head#TNF Vince Young just bent over to untie his shoes in the locker room and threw out his back. It was intercepted. 14 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Eric_Bader
Eric BaderEvery Lady Gaga song sounds like the coked out club remix of some early Madonna single. 4 days ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
@YouGotBieberd_
Zoe&Kathy ♥#BestAlbumEver – Under the Mistletoe by Justin Bieber. 54 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto
@someecards
someecardsI’m glad Newt Gingrich’s surge gives him the opportunity to be despised by a whole new generation. http://t.co/vnQrX2bH 2 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto
@StephenAtHome
Stephen ColbertNewt Gingrich and Donald Trump are going to sit down for a face to face. Hope they got a big room. That’s a lot of face. 13 hours ago via SocialOomph · powered by @socialditto