Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have plenty of tweets talking about Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump, we see what Jan Brady would be like as a realtor, and we also learn the unsettling truth about the night janitor at a wax museum.
I heard Newt Gingrich bought beautiful Tiffany cuff links for all the GOP nominees.
@ClayTravisBGID Vince Young tried to throw a temper tantrum after tonight game….but it was intercepted.
Kenyans run fast because all of the other countries are trying to tickle them.
I wonder how many times a year the night janitor at Madame Tussaud’s kisses the wax Angelina Jolie on the lips. Probably a lot.
BET SANTA FREAK OUT WHEN HE GET NEW LIST FROM THAT CRAIG KID!
Nickelback is so talented.
My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud.
I wish it was gain weight “for” the holidays instead of “during” the holidays.
“Location, Location, Location” – Jan Brady, Realtor
Clicking the ‘Report Spam’ button was the closest I got to a feeling of accomplishment today.
Dear Santa: Lumps of coal are environmentally unfriendly. May I suggest a “Previously Viewed” Last Airbender DVD from Blockbuster instead?
Donald Trump is moderating the next GOP debate? I’m starting to think that these debates are planned by SNL writers.
#TNF Vince Young just bent over to untie his shoes in the locker room and threw out his back. It was intercepted.
Every Lady Gaga song sounds like the coked out club remix of some early Madonna single.
#BestAlbumEver – Under the Mistletoe by Justin Bieber.
Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump are going to sit down for a face to face. Hope they got a big room. That’s a lot of face.