Elan Gale, a producer on “The Bachelor”, kept us from sinking into sleepy Thanksgiving weekend boredom with his interactions with Diane in 7A, a fellow flight passenger who was allegedly bitching about delays. Gale uploaded photos to Twitter of a note war between the two of them, which began when he sent her a glass of wine and urged her to shut up, in the nicest way possible. It escalated into an all out word-brawl, with Gale eventually telling the woman to “eat his dick”.

Of course, the internet had a lot to say about all this, ranging from support for Gale–who was speaking up for all of us who secretly loathe the passenger who complains about a flight delay as though they are the only person it affects–to outrage over the “eat my dick” remark. But rest easy, interwebz. Diane doesn’t even exist.

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Gale tweeted this photo to silence all the questions about who she was and what happened to her (although he called her “Diana”). Sorry, guys. Looks like we were the victims of a massive hoax. I feel so cheated.

Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

"Today is Thanksgiving! I'm supposed to be with my family. NOT with you people I barely know!"

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

I sent the lady a glass of wine and a note pic.twitter.com/GttnmQI25P

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

The male flight attendant is giving me the "let's just pretend this never happened" face. Shaking his head a lot

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

From 7A pic.twitter.com/OEaCWw5mz3

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

I cannot believe there are "Diane" apologists in this world. You're with me or you're against me!

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

Let me just say this: What started off as an annoyance became a pleasure because of you people. Seriously. More than anything. I love you

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013

Image: Twitter