Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Wait so “Looper” is NOT a gritty reimagining of Toucan Sam’s bloody turf war against Cap’n Crunch?
Doctors can stop hanging their diplomas on the wall. I don’t care what college you went to, I just want a handicapped plate and Vicodin.
Fox News showed a live suicide on the air. If you think that’s bad, NBC is showing it tape-delayed in prime time tonight.
UPDATE: Instead of fixing Apple Maps, Apple will change the entire face of the planet so it matches Apple Maps.
Steve Jobs wouldn’t have apologized for Maps. He’d say bad directions were a feature leading you on an adventure. Like an acid trip.
Getting surprisingly little information back on my Google Alert for “Alan Arkin + cole slaw.”
St. Jude is the Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Trying To Understand Facebook Security Settings.
Seems Jimmy Hoffa not in his driveway though glitter found may show Ke$sha dropped by to fool around w/his ghost
I’d rather dine with Jeffrey Dahmer than someone who eats pizza with a fork and knife.
Fox News just aired it’s first live suicide since the Republican National Convention.
There should be emotionally handicapped parking spaces.
I don’t want to say that iOS Maps is terrible; I will say that the Jews would have wandered the desert another 4,000 years if they’d used it