Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today on Twitter we find humor in Captain Ron, a criminally undervalued Kurt Russell movie, Starbucks and we also see the benefits of standing bare-assed over a hotel air conditioner. Enjoy.
@kylekinane
Kyle KinaneIn high school, when all the cool kids saw the movie “Singles” opening night, I saw “Captain Ron.” That moment shaped the rest of my life.
7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@donni
Donni SaphireDon’t trust a big butt with a smile. Butts should never have facial expressions. 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@Braunger
Matt BraungerFavorite Eagles album? “We Put Our Dicks in Stinky Chicks.” Hands down. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzThe media’s 9/11 coverage is aspiring to the level of taste achieved by their coverage of Michael Jackson’s death. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonIf you’re ever thirsty for a glass of milk, simply go to a Starbucks, ask for a cup & pour yourself one at the convenient milk bar! 4 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy Brita pitcher broke, so now I have to drink water from the tap like a homeless person. #FirstWorldProblems 3 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@DannyZuker
Danny Zuker“Yes I would love to look at photos of your cat,” is my way of telling you that you have fantastic boobies. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@conanobrienswyf
Meg AbbitchIf I can’t beat the crap out of my kids for opening the chip bag wrong, how will they ever learn to be good Americans? 5 hours ago via UberSocial for Android · powered by @socialditto
@kylekinane
Kyle KinaneNo simpler a pleasure exists than standing bare-assed over a hotel air conditioner. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto