Adam Sandler Updates “Chanukah Song,” Adds Disgraced Subway Spokesman Jared Fogle to Lyrics

Adam Sandler has once again updated his popular “Chanukah Song,” and this time he’s added disgraced former Subway spokesperson to the lyrics. Sandler first performed this updated ver...
Adam Sandler Updates “Chanukah Song,” Adds Disgraced Subway Spokesman Jared Fogle to Lyrics
Written by Kimberly Ripley
  • Adam Sandler has once again updated his popular “Chanukah Song,” and this time he’s added disgraced former Subway spokesperson to the lyrics.

    Sandler first performed this updated version at the “Judd Apatow and Friends” Carnegie Hall performance o November 14th. He also recorded a YouTube version at San Diego’s Civic Theatre.

    Adam Sandler debuted the original version of his “Chanukah Song” back in 1994.

    The new lyrics are hilarious.

    Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah
    So much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah

    Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
    Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

    When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
    Here’s the fourth list of people who are Jewish, just like Jesus, Olaf, Punky Brewster, Scott Rudin, and me!

    Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoys eating kugel
    So does Stan Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and the two guys who founded Google
    Adam Levine wears a Jewish star
    So does Drake and Seth Rogen
    Goldberg has a gold yarmulke to match the belt he won from Hulk Hogan

    We got Scarlett Johansson, talk about a Kosher crush
    And if you need a higher voice to turn you on, how about Geddy Lee from Rush?

    We may not have a cartoon with a reindeer that can talk
    But we also don’t have polio, thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk (smart Jew!)

    Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
    Harry Potter and his magic wand-ukah, celebrate Chanukah

    Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
    But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? “Loveline”’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)

    Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from “Frozen”
    David Beckham is the king of soccer studs and also a quarter chosen

    Ron Jeremy is fully Jewish and so is his foot-long buddy
    Shia LaBeouf is half a Jew but 100 percent nutty

    It’s cool that Santa Claus who makes Christmas so merry
    But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)

    From New York to Iran-ukah, get up and celebrate Chanukah
    Don’t mess with us, oh Chanukah, let’s all get along for Chanukah
    So drink your Jaegerbomb-ukah and smoke your medical-chron-ukah
    If you really, really wan-ukah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah.

    Jared Fogle was recently sentenced to 15 years in prison for having sex with a minor and for possession of pornography. Subway severed ties with Fogle when he was first suspected of pornography possession. You must admit, Adam Sandler including him in these latest lyrics is both gutsy and an excellent slam.

    What’s your take on Adam Sandler’s latest version of his “Chanukah Song?” He previously altered the lyrics in both 1999 and 2002.

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