Fifteen months after the Newtown Massacre, which took the lives of 20 children and six teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Peter Lanza, Adam Lanza’s father, is speaking out about his son.

During a chilling interview with the New Yorker, Peter reveals that he wishes his son had never been born, and that he knows that Adam would have killed him if he had had the chance.

“With hindsight, I know Adam would have killed me in a heartbeat, if he’d had the chance,” he said. “I don’t question that for a minute.”

Adam also murdered his mother Nancy Lanza, who divorced Peter in 2009. Peter admitted that he had not seen his son in two years, prior to the massacre, and that Adam had shot Nancy four times; once for each of his family members. “The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us,” he explained. “One for Nancy; one for him; one for Ryan; one for me.”

Peter explained that Adam was once just a little “weird kid”. It wasn’t until Adam entered middle school that he started making startling changes; social awkwardness, lack of eye contact, sleepless nights, etc. Peters says Adam was later diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. “You could see the changes occurring,” Peter explained.

Adam’s father and mother tried to get him to open up to a therapist, but Peter explained that Adam did not want to accept that he had something wrong with him. “Adam was not open to therapy,” he said. “He did not want to talk about problems and didn’t even admit he had Asperger’s.”

Peter has struggled to cope with the fact that his son was able to do something so unbelievably horrific. He described him as the worst kind of evil. “You can’t get any more evil,” he said. “How much do I beat up on myself about the fact that he’s my son? A lot.”

Peter said that he had met with two of the families of the Sandy Hook victims. “It’s gut-wrenching,” he said. “A victim’s family member told me that they forgave Adam after we spent three hours talking. I didn’t even know how to respond.”

So, why has Peter decided to open up now? He said that he wanted people to realize that this could happen to them. “I want people to be afraid of the fact that this could happen to them,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be understood to be real.”

Image via Wikimedia Commons