Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
Next person to tell me to Google “Zerg Rush” will receive a deft roundhouse kick to the face. Please stop.
WOULD YOU BE EXCITE TO SEE MARATHON RUNNER RIDING ON DONKEY? THEN WHY YOU SO EXCITE TO SEE SPACE SHUTTLE ON TOP OF PLANE?
DID YOU KNOW that John Cusack has now starred in two films based on Edgar Allan Poe short stories? “The Raven” and “Hot Tub Time Machine”.
On a scale of Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many facial expressions do you have?
It’s gotten to a point where Octomom’s children would be better off being raised by an actual octopus.
There’s nothing worse than having to watch the blooper reel of a show you don’t watch.
I like to wait 35 days to favorite a tweet. That way my friends are always
convinced they’ve lost their touch! 😀
I would rather someone walk in on me taking a shit than have them see me eat a plate of hot wings.
“bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy,” quoth the raven, quoth, “up jump the raven”
You would probably never win an anecdote battle against an old Puerto Rican guy with a cane.
Any YouTube clip is six Related Video clicks away from watching a deceased conjoined twins memorial video set to Boyz 2 Men’s One Sweet Day.