Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Has this week been the longest for anyone else? It’s only Tuesday. FML. Oh well, bring on the tweets.
Google+ is like a gym membership. Everyone signs up for it but never uses it
BREAKING: Univ of South Carolina has dismissed QB Stephen Garcia from the team. Tim Tebow expected to be named starter later today.
@MargieJPhelps !!!!Happy National Coming Out Day,
“Undefeated Detroit Lions” sounds like one of those phrases they throw in to sci-fi movies so you know it’s the future.
So, was Snake Pliskin really Captain Ron in an alternate reality?
Mitt Romney’s lack of pizza experience is really coming back to haunt him.
Ok pickup line: Unless you were molested by a guy who looks exactly like me, there’s no reason we shouldn’t grab coffee sometime.
Everyone at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park should ask for a refund when they find out they can’t ride Hermione.
is waiting for the new Chris Gaines album.
I was going to go to America for my Second Coming, but they don’t seem to take too kindly to immigrants named Jesus.
Happy National Coming Out Day! Kick those doors down & be who you are! Lots of people love you! (You too Republican Senators!)
I’d never compare people I don’t like to Hitler, but the people who make the little “x” button impossible to find on pop-up ads are Hitler.
If I show you a picture on my iPhone and you begin scrolling through my photos without asking, I’ll fucking run you over with my car.
“Yer left! Yer left! Yer left-left-left!” (one legged boot camp)
Does anybody know when National Coming Out Day is in Iran??
Does the store “Staples” enjoy confusing people by putting their name on a box of paper clips?