Jehovah’s Witnesses, Twilight, and Rebel Romney
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Mitt Romney says in an upcoming interview with People magazine that he once tasted a beer and tried a cigarette in his wayward youth. Thus, a hashtag #RebelRomney is born. We also learn how long the Supercongress has been locked and see that God might be confused with some types of thank yous.
Dad finds it weird that you thank Him after a successful surgery. You realize the doctors and nurses are doing all the work, right?
When I struggle to write a tweet I realize my novel has no chance at all.
According to the drunken handwriting on this notebook paper, I married a container of Old Bay last night.
The uglier you are, the more of your face you should be forced to show in your avi.
Jehovah’s Witnesses have the worst knock knock jokes ever!
Reasons to be depressed: 1. Twilight made 140 million this weekend. 2. My parents are dead.
FACT: In the time the Supercongress spent failing to reach a budget deal, Kim Kardashian could’ve been married 5 times.