Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Halloween is on everyone's mind. Not only that, but we get numerous tweets from today's most entertaining hashtag, #RejectedPeanutsSpecials.
Giving me a dirty look for smoking outside of Starbucks is the equivalent of giving a woman in labor a dirty look for requesting epidural.
Is it wrong to say "retarded" or should I say "mentally challenged"? Either way, these kids are slow as shit and Im definitely winning gold!
Sorry Eileen, but Dexy's Midnight Runners told me to.
"Puss in Boots" is what we call Tom Brady when he's sporting his Uggs.
Just realized Siri only works on iPhone 4S. No idea who the lady I've been talking to is.
Luke Perry needs to Twitter just so he can let people know he's alive.
#RejectedPeanutsSpecials Good Grief, You Have Juvenile Onset Baldness Charlie Brown