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Gingers, Memorial Day, and Travolta Time-Out

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Gingers, Memorial Day, and Travolta Time-Out
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Blake Griffin joins Carson Palmer to form the Society of Gingers Who Have Made the Playoffs But Haven’t Won A Single Playoff Game.
3 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
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Michele Pheiffer’s tribute to Michael Jackson, in the form of her face, is really very sweet.
3 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
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My therapist says my mental issues are a result of my upbringing. I had to remind him that he’s my physical therapist & my knee hurts.
3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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Whenever you see someone with a cell phone on their belt clip you should immediately congratulate them on having a cell phone.
4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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BRB gonna take a little “Travolta Time-Out”
1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS · powered by @socialditto
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There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
1 hour ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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My “neighbor” policy is: You’re the worst until proven tolerable.
1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
2 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
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Just finished working on my Memorial Day deviled eggs. Hope they keep.
2 hours ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto
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Just saw Mark Zuckerberg returning a 2-Piece Mini Cupcake Spatula Set to Crate & Barrel for .95 store credit. Must have gotten 2 of them.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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The only thing worse than Monday mornings are… every other morning. I’m unemployed. Please hire me.
2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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It was a bad idea to ask Siri, “What do women want?” She’s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn’t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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CVS takes great pleasure in offering you coupons for things you just bought and won’t need to buy again for several weeks.
3 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
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I always get babies and polaroid pictures mixed up. Which one develops faster when you shake it?
3 hours ago via Facebook · powered by @socialditto
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Hey, girl in a one piece, your ugly is timeless.
4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Gingers, Memorial Day, and Travolta Time-Out
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