Albert Pujols, Lindsay Lohan, and Santa’s Candy Cane
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have tweets about a trio of newsworthy people – Albert Pujols, Jerry Sandusky and Lindsay Lohan. We also see what you don’t want your kid to say after his yearly visit with Santa.
Just think of all the money the Angels would have saved on Pujols if they bothered to wake up early on Black Friday.
Jerry Sandusky posting bail? Forget electronic monitoring, just cut him off at the knees. The left knee, the right knee and the wee-knee.
Sometimes when I put on workout clothes and don’t work out, I just pretend I’m a character from the “Sopranos”.
My life is exactly like Glee, minus the singing & dancing & high school and most of the gay stuff.
Probably the thing I like best about Twitter is the way people try to change others’ minds through calm, rational debate.
“Git-r-done!” is the “I have a dream!” of the south.
If Joe Biden started wearing just a little bit of eye liner what the hell could anyone do about it?
Pujols, looking to improve on last season with the Cardinals, signs with the Angles. Good Luck Baseball Lebron.
“Daddy, I think Santa had a really big candy cane in his pocket!” – The last thing I wanted to hear today
I love Twitter. It gives boring people the illusion somebody’s listening.
Actually, if Lindsay Lohan couldn’t get cast in New Year’s Eve, her career is truly over.
Bad news is I fell out of my rolling desk chair. Good news is I landed in some kind of yoga pose, so I’m counting this as exercise.
if Joe Sandusky is digging through his cell wall with a rock hammer, bet he chose a Justin Bieber poster rather than Rita Hayworth