They Need To Invent Autotune For Thinking

Josh WolfordSocial Media

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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we find tweets about some famous NFL quarterbacks, a famous adult film star and a famous biblical shipbuilder. Plus we get an admission of how Twitter really affects attraction. Enjoy!

"I couldn't pass up Peyton Manning, but I drafted David Garrard as my backup till #18 returns". #WorstFantasyFootballPlayerEver 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Just confirming for myself: both The Gin Blossoms and Cuba Gooding Jr were real things, right? 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin sons will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys in her at the same time? 15 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

I'm sure when your pet gains the ability to speak, they'll first thank you for turning on Animal Planet when you leave the house. 4 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto

They need to invent Autotune for thinking. 2 hours ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

Pawn Stars' Chumlee spent $11,000 on his birthday bash. That's the $11,000 you think you should have gotten for your WWI memorabilia. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Following someone on twitter is a great way to stop having a crush on them 14 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

"I did not account for this much shitting." -Noah, after one week on the Arc 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Im takn over as tha CEO of Yahoo. Need sum of tha Snoop Dogg content ya digg. Nuff Said. 20 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Bachmann reading book on Constitution for #GOPDebate: "I'm up to the part where Elmo talks about the Bill of Rights." 35 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford

Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer.

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