The Masters, Beyonce, and The Civil War

Josh WolfordLife

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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Before Augusta accepts women maybe they ought to get rid of the name Masters.(image) 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Beyonce isn't REALLY on Tumblr until she starts reblogging Community GIFs.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Now that Kanye is dating Kim he's found a bush that DOES care about black people(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Sure, Google glasses looks cool, but I'm holding out for the Zune monocle(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

In breaking news, Charles Manson has selected Nancy Grace to represent him in his parole hearing next week. "I love the evil in her eyes."(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Interesting Sports Fact: when the Chicago Cubs start 1-0 or 0-1 they have gone on to not win a World Series for the past 103 years.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Remember the game where you would take turns yelling, "Penis!" in public? Life was so simple before 9/11.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I think when Jesus died for our sins, he wasn't fully aware of some of the shit we'd be getting into.(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Oh, you're in 8th grade & you get drunk every night? Please share it with Facebook so everybody can see what a bright future you have.(image) 6 minutes ago via Twuffer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Shhhhh. Masters golfers are trying to putt.(image) 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Pretty cool that Beyonce's publicist finally joined Twitter!(image) 5 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

WOMAN GO TO JAIL FOR DRIVE AND TEXT WITH BABY ON LAP! CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? SHE COULD HAVE SPELL WORD WRONG!(image) 9 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

A new report says the Civil War death toll is actually 20% higher. Especially in parts of the South where it's still going on.(image) 27 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Jim Marshall, inventor of the Marshall amp has died. His funeral begins at 1 and it goes to 11.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford

Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer.

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