Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have fallout from the Oscars dominate Twitter. And people are buzzing about the postponed Daytona 500 as well – some are even offering their own thoughts on the cause. Plus, we’re not sure what the miracle is about a certain sandwich spread.
Enjoy!
I feel like Miracle Whip doesn’t understand what the word “miracle” means.
SOURCES: Danica Patrick is spending the Rain Delay at a Daytona Amusement Park, riding the bumper cars to practice for the race #Daytona500
It cannot be easy being married to Meryl Streep. It must be impossible to tell when she is faking it.
That dog from Frazier was really good in “The Artist.”
Some people walked out of the Artist when they realised it’s silent. I walked out of the Iron Lady when I realised it isn’t.
somehow, somewhere, Nick Nolte just stumbled out of a handicapped stall, then flipped off a homeless guy, not realizing it was a mirror.
Octavia Spencer’s win shows just how far we’ve come since Billy Crystal performed in Blackface. #TheOscars
Check me out! Leg!!
Daytona 500 delayed again because NASCAR fears mixing rain with a Danica Patrick debut will wipe out half their drivers within 25 laps.
Congratulations to J.Lo and Cam Diaz for igniting no boners just then #Oscars
Grossest Word of the Day: Instagramateur
My noise cancelling earbuds broke, so now I have to use the ones that came with my iPhone. #firstworldproblems
It looks like the last calories Angelina Jolie consumed were when she drank that vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood.
“That is SO 5 minutes from now.” -Hipster Merlin
