Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Two of the top trending topics are Earthquake and Christina Hendricks. Imagine Her in a earthquake. It would be like a lava lamp. Brilliant.
“Due to remarks of his we consider unacceptable, we have terminated our relationship with Rush Limbaugh.” — Satan
As Super Tuesday approaches, remind readers of the cautionary tale of a regular Tuesday being bitten by a radioactive primary.
I don’t think I’ve googled anything faster than when I heard about the Christina Hendricks leaked photos.
WHEN SHE SAY SLEEP! DRUNK HULK THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING HYPNOTIZE DOG! WORST VETERINARIAN EVER!
Digitimes reports 5:30AM Bay Area earthquake was actually cargo plane filled with 7-inch iPad 3s landing, causing earth to shift on its axis
“Pat Robertson Blames Tornadoes On Lack Of Prayer.” Tornadoes blame Robertson for too much wind.
Remember, this Tuesday is “Super Tuesday” when everyone dresses up in superhero costumes. Don’t ask anyone, just trust me.
Dunkin’ Donuts is now selling China a product called “pork donuts.” Or as most Americans call that, “a shopping list.”
Mr Cameron on the phone. Very excited: Obama has invited him to Camp David, which ironically enough is his nickname in the Royal Household.
Pat Robertson says we could’ve stopped the tornadoes with prayer. If it works that way, let’s pray for God to put a stop to Pat Robertson.
Whoever hacked Christina Hendricks’ cellphone is an awful person. Invading someone’s privacy like that is detestable. (clicks link)
Even though Lenny Dykstra spent his baseball career as an outfielder, I have a feeling that he’ll be playing catcher very soon.
Adele thinks her mansion is haunted. Luckily, something from the past haunting Adele usually leads to a multi-platinum album and 6 Grammys.