Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Barack Obama offered the vice president an incentive to debate well. And today, Joe Biden was named “Ambassador to Partytown.”
It’s funny to go up to people sitting in the mall having a job interview and shout, “The cocaine you sold me yesterday is the bomb-dot-com!”
Hey Paul Ryan, why don’t you save some first names for the rest of us.
Shocking news: Zumba class filled with hookers.
DEBATE GOOD! BUT HATE SEEING SCREECH AND MISTER BELDING SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER!
Sometimes it seems like pornographic web sites are deliberately targeting masturbators.
My mask has more facial expressions than Kristen Stewart.
A sure sign that a woman’s Facebook profile picture isn’t pretty, is having 50 comments from other women telling them how pretty they look.
Giant freaky eyeball found on Miami Beach. Someone check Michele Bachmann, please.
Bill Pullman is the Jeff Daniels of Bill Paxtons.
“I just loved ‘Herbie Fully Loaded'” – @MittRomney after being told @LindsayLohan is endorsing him.
Whenever I’m in a gas station convenience store, I’m 70% sure that’s something is about to go down.
I just sent back the “everything” bagel I ordered because it didn’t have tiny Spice Girls figurines on it.