Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Shia LaBeouf sounds like a French tampon brand.
Johnny Depp and his partner separated. They agreed to share custody of the kids, but are suing the hell out of each other over the scarves.
ARSENIO HALL GET TALK SHOW! MICROSOFT RELEVANT! TIME IS PERFECT FOR ZIMA TO MAKE COMEBACK!
I thought Roger Clemens was already in jail for having frosted tips when he was a 40 year old man?
At this point, the only reason I use Facebook is to fish for compliments.
I can’t decide whether I want the Shackle Shoes or the Air Amistads
Using twitter to call something a “first world problem” is redundant you guys.
Don’t do misogyny, kids. Bitches hate misogyny.
The guy who vandalized the Picasso painting got greedy. Next time try a Jackson Pollock, no one will know the difference.
I’d buy a Tempurpedic mattress just so I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
I type faster than Google Instant. #firstworldproblems
You know you’re getting old when you forget the name of the street you grew up on and break your hip and die.
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