Selling souls on eBay is nothing new. During the auction websites’ earlier years, you could purchase objects like this all the time. In addition to souls, people would bid on everything from ghosts to haunted objects to demonic babydolls, though, in most cases, these auctions were yanked before anyone could get their grubby little hands on them. Once upon a time, I was intrigued enough by a so-called “ghost in a jar” that I almost dropped some cold, hard cash to bring the item home. Alas, I did not, leaving me to wonder what might have been.

For those of you who are in the market for another person’s mortal soul, a freelance writer by the name of Lori N. is currently selling hers on eBay for a cool $2000. Like most people in this economy, two grand is usually just lying around on the kitchen table, generally right next to an empty box of cereal and a cup of lukewarm coffee. I guess if you’re going to auction off your soul, you might as well put a high dollar value on it.

According to Click On Detroit, Lori was in a car crash not too long ago, an accident that has had a very negative effect on her existence. Her body is a busted mess, she claims, and she’s just looking to make some money on what’s left of her soul. Given the damage done — Lori reportedly lost a breast, broke several bones, experienced a collapsed lung, and had a stroke — she’s currently “at the end of her rope”. Understandable.

“What I’m going to deliver is the opportunity for someone to save my soul. They can save it through prayer, they can save it through conversion,” the owner of the soul explained. “And I’m also going to give them a certificate detailing the white and black marks on my soul.”

Although Lori understands that she may offend some folks with such a stunt, she’s hoping that she might meet someone during the process. In other words, the auction really is a thin-veiled cry for help, one that could lead her to the happiness she lost following the accident.