Richard Dawson, Microsoft, and Confused Urologists

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Richard Dawson, Microsoft, and Confused Urologists
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    [Image via reddit]

    If sony or nintendo want to top microsoft @ E3 theyre gonna have to bring that dead cat helicopter on stage & control it with voice commands
    47 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    This confused urologist has no idea where I’m coming from.
    27 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Internet Explorer coming to XBOX Live. Soon to be followed by fire and the wheel.
    2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Richard Dawson. A real man. Would kiss your wife while looking YOU in the eye. And you’d do NOTHING. Because he is Richard Dawson.
    1 day ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles.
    49 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote.
    1 day ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    “Is Tiger Woods Back?” is the trucker hat of sports.
    3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    There are fates far worse than death. For example, having your death reported in an online article with comments enabled.
    1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Have to wait until next year for new Game of Thrones episodes. #firstworldproblems
    15 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Laughter is the best medicine, but so is watching your enemies slowly become fat through Facebook updates.
    9 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    IS IT JUST DRUNK HULK! OR WAS FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS 20 YEARS AHEAD OF THEIR TIME?
    1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from Creed songs.
    2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Police nabbed the porn actor who dismembered and ate his Chinese lover because they knew he’d be hungry again an hour later.
    3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    Get the WebProNews newsletter delivered to your inbox

    Get the free daily newsletter read by decision makers

    Subscribe
    Advertise with Us

    Ready to get started?

    Get our media kit