Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Thanks to gangnam style this has been the best Halloween for chubby faced Asian men nationwide
Something tells me our local Middle Eastern restaurant’s Halloween Shawarmageddon menu was misguided.
“Trick or Trick.” – Life
Tip: Avoid trick-or-treating at Goldman Sachs. They just repackage the shitty candy they got themselves.
This trick-or-treater driving behind me dressed as a policemen in a police car with flashing lights really went all out.
Chris Christie decided to dress up as Barack Obama’s best friend for Halloween.
If I had a time machine, my parents would still be alive and Disney would’ve bought Star Wars BEFORE Lucas made the prequels.
What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire eastern coast of America just to get on tv.
Do these people in Polident commercials know their life is over?
Yes, Disney bought Lucasfilm for 4 bil, but I like to think of it as the world contributing 50 cents each to get Star Wars away from Lucas.
If you watch A Nightmare on Elm Street backwards, it’s about a burn victim who cures teenage insomnia by using extreme acupuncture.
Donald Trump’s tweets are actually hysterical if you imagine him writing them while he has diarrhea.