Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Did not realize Roseanne Barr was on the ticket…this changes everything.
If Obama loses tonight I hope tomorrow he releases his Kenyan birth certificate
Girl, you must not be able to vote because you STOLE MY HEART and are a convicted felon
Some dog people state, “I love Pitbulls” like they’re saying, “I’m not racist”
PRETTY MUCH BULLSHIT THAT NICKELBACK FANS ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE.
Every show on The Disney Channel is just kids in striped shirts being dicks.
I can’t wait for this election to be over so Kid Rock can stop with all the politics and get back to groovin’ my soul with his tasty jams.
What happened to the Whig Party?
I’ve never taken heroin, but I’m assuming it feels like someone canceling a meeting with you 5 minutes before you’re supposed to have it.
Halo 4, black ops 2, and no shave November… This is going to be a rough month for relationships..
Remember, your vote doesn’t count unless you Instagram your sticker!
There should be a 3rd drive-thru window at Taco Bell that’s just a burly dude calling you a pussy if you ask for mild sauce.