Pi Day, The Encyclopedia Britannica, and Steak & BJs

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Pi Day, The Encyclopedia Britannica, and Steak & BJs
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Hey! It’s Pi Day! Useful formula: (number of digits you can recite pi to) + 14 = (age you lost your virginity)(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    That awkward moment when u get home tonight and your mums cooking your dad steak =))(image) 6 minutes ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    So, today’s Steak & BJ Day. That explains why the wife said this morning “we’re having cobb salad for dinner & I’m going out with friends.”(image) 5 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It’s Steak and BJ Day!? A day to celebrate two things that are often rare.(image) 17 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Encyclopedia Britannica to end publication. Wow. Wikipedia says they’ve been in business since 1768!(image) 5 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Rihanna hinted she might get back together with Chris Brown. If she likes guys who abuse women, I might have a chance.(image) 38 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    ‘Virgin Diaries’ is trending on Twitter. I didn’t know Tim Tebow wrote an autobiography! #ThrowItDown(image) 56 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni quits. Fragile peace talks between Asians and Blacks has now completely shut down.(image) 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It’s not whether you fall, it’s whether you get back up. And also whether anyone shot video of you falling and posted it on YouTube.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Just landed in Mexico City. Excited to try one of those Doritos-shell tacos everyone’s been talking about.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    The internet on my phone is faster than the internet in my apartment. #FirstWorldProblems(image) 3 hours ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    You gotta admit that if a Santorum/Gingrich ticket wins the Presidency the resulting new Rage Against the Machine album would be AMAZING.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “This ain’t my first radio.” ~ Nikola Tesla(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Wishing a Happy Steak & 19 Blowjobs Day to my slut of an ex-girlfriend.(image) 5 hours ago via WitStream ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Getting warmed up for St. Patricks day or ‘National Blend-In Day!’ as it’s known to bulimics.(image) 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Happy Pi Day, everybody! If I had $3.14 for everything I knew about pi, I wouldn’t have any money.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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