Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have tweets about Pat Robertson’s suggestion to those living with Alzheimer’s, a rather unimpressive superpower, and we find what really makes people apathetic about health care reform. Enjoy!
Papa Johns delivering me an unsliced pizza just says, “We know you’re alone and going to eat the whole thing tonight. Dig in, fat ass.”
It’d be nice if Jane Austen movies had a titty trumpet to wake me up if there were any.
Hey kids! Check out the Camel Crush! It’s a cigarette u can *CRUSH* into a minty menthol! Whoa! fun!
Shorter Pat Robertson: If you love someone, set them free. If they can’t find their way back, you’re free to leave.
Ladies, I have two love handles: born2satisfy & ladyluvr69; I also have two of the love handles you initially thought I was talking about.
Folks: I’m just like everyone else. I put my pants on one leg at a time but with the help of 3 supermodels and then blowup a cruise ship.
Twitter is now available in five new languages. Unfortunately for Rick Perry & Michele Bachmann, “Insane Rambling” is not one of them.
I’m starting to accept the fact that the closest I’ll ever get to having a superpower is being invisible on gtalk.
Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don’t even give a shit about health care reform.
When I get alzheimer’s I’m going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day.