Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
My shrink says I would hallucinate less if I didn’t do angel dust. Typical dragon.
Passover is the most widely recognized Jewish holiday, if you don’t count the year-end sale at Neiman Marcus. Happy Pesach!
What filter do you guys use on instagram to make your father love you?
Those anti-Asian slurs could seriously damage Marion Barry’s reputation.
I’m glad Kim Kardashian finally found someone she can spend the rest of her week with.
I like Good Friday way better than Bad Tuesday. And AIDs Wednesday.
I bet Tyler Perry forgets he’s black sometimes.
Google glasses: when you’re too big a douchebag to wear just a Bluetooth.
I reach for the iPhone in my pocket the same way I used to reach for a pack of cigarettes.
Tim Tebow will preach to 30K people on Easter. Tebow won’t replace the regular preacher, he’s only handling the wildcat part of the service.
You know your life is going well when all the targeted ads on websites you browse are for suicide prevention hotlines.