O.J. Simpson has captured the fascination of millions over the years; as the former football hero-turned-actor who ran from police in a now infamous highway chase after the murder of his wife, his story seemed like something out of a movie. But the reality behind the calm courtroom facade he carried was all too real for his ex-girlfriend, who says he constantly compared her to his slain wife.

“It was very hard to deal with that everyday, comparing me to Nicole. ‘Nicole did this, Nicole did that. You should do this, that’s what she did,’” Christie Prody said. “I was young, and so he could try to shape me, mold me, into what he wanted. He would say things to me like, ‘You better watch out so something bad doesn’t happen to you like Nicole.’”

Prody stayed with Simpson for twelve years after they began dating when she was just 21. She says he made her dye her hair blonde (Nicole Brown-Simpson was a blonde) and, because she was so young, she did what he said in order to please him. She says that his court appearance last week–which was a hearing granted to try and overturn his 2008 robbery conviction–was the first time she’d seen him in years, and his puffy appearance surprised her.

“I had to take a double take,” she said. “I can’t believe he’s gotten a lot bigger and very grey since I last saw him. Image was the most important thing to him. Being good looking was important to him. And even more so, the girl on his arm had to be good looking.”

She says that despite his altered appearance, he’s still the same guy deep down.

“O.J. is very charming,” she said. “He’s very charming and he tells you what you want to hear. He’s very believable.”