National Donut Day, Mayor Bloomberg, and FDR

Josh WolfordLife

Share this Post

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.


Happy National Doughnut Day, Jabba's favorite day of the year.
5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

I think if you've been to the beach you know that every day is national donut day in America.
7 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

So who's this "Miss Trial" that John Edwards is banging?
21 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

F.D.R. would have had a SHIT-TON of 'NO FEAR' t-shirts.
23 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Just think how much worse the Hatfield McCoy feud would have been if they had texting. Or face eating.
2 days ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

As he exited the interview, Mayor Bloomberg slapped a large Mountain Dew out of the hand of a husky child. "It starts now," he whispered.
1 day ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Mayor McCheese should run against Bloomberg
1 hour ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

If Thor smashes Bella Swan with his hammer then count me in for Snow White & the Huntsman.
8 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

I think what DC Comics meant to announce is that The Green Lantern is gayER than the other super heroes wearing tights and a cape.
3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Naming your daughter "Star" is the easiest way to insure that she won't be one.
14 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Microsoft's new tagline: "Bing is the #1 search engine among people who always accept the default." #newBing
57 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Just saw a confused guy in the street, angrily shouting "Where is the best sushi!?!" at a metal object in his hand.
24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

I find it difficult to watch porn in the same way a real prosecutor can't watch Law & Order.
44 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Kathie Lee Gifford just asked John Walsh of America's Most Wanted how his son Adam is doing.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Josh Wolford
Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf