Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Nancy Grace is what would happen if a Caps Lock key came to life
Ever wonder which of your friends would lose all sense of morality in a war situation? It’s the ones who play ‘Qi’ in Scrabble.
Remember – your phone could be hacked at any time. That’s why you should only keep pictures of other people’s dicks.
My favorite part about Corona commercials is the part where you can pause it and jerk off to the girl in it.
Anybody know when Pootie Tang comes out on Blu-Ray?
My audition tape for NPR is just two hours of me doing creepy inhale breaths.
Heidi Klum says being around her kids makes her feel beautiful, which we all know is just a nice way of her calling her kids ugly.
I could never be a maid. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Law and Order, they find a ton of dead bodies.
I want to do a revival of the show ‘Cats’ starring famous cats from YouTube.
Seeing Mark Ruffalo’s stupid face makes me turn into the Hulk.
The thing about Nicki Minaj is shut up.