In you-might-be-struggling-with-self-validation-but-you’re-definitely-a-better-parent-than-this-lunatic news, a Spartansburg, South Carolina woman called 911 when she came home to discover that her 15-year-old son had been watching porn.

The Smoking Gun obtained the police report, which states that Chavonda Gallman, a real estate agent, came home with her two-year-old daughter and one of her clients. Apparently, when her daughter turned on the TV, people be doin it on-screen. Incensed, Gallman figured it must be the work of her 15-year-old son, and proceeded to call the police.

Sheriff’s deputies arrived at the house and likely explained to Gallman that watching porn wasn’t illegal and that her call was a giant waste of time and resources. They possibly informed her that the kid’s 15 and he’s going to watch porn – no matter what she does to try to prevent it. Life, uh, finds a way. It’s possible that the officers asked Gallman if she was one of the people who called 911 when Facebook was down last week.

Even if they didn’t go that far, they did explain that he couldn’t be disciplined by the long arm of the law for a little midday stress release.

The boy reportedly remained in his bedroom throughout the entire exchange.

But apparently Gallman wanted something permanent out of this. According to the report,

Mrs. Gallman advised that her son has been having behaviors [sic] issues and that he will not listen, talk back, and steal. Mrs. Gallman requested that a report be done to document to help track her son’s behavior and due to her daughter being exposed to porn.

Persistent, if nothing else.

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